Little Blue Monsters

Once again, our chapter begins on a (t)rusty steed of black metal and worn rubber. Incidentally, he’s been affectionately named ‘Rusty’, and I’ll dearly miss the beautiful black bastard when I’m gone.

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As you can see, I brought Foot along for a trip to the playground, since he’s been just a bundle of energy recently. He liked the slide the best, but I think he enjoyed hopping up the stairs more than actually sliding down. Look at the little guy waving from the top…he’s just so darn photogenic it scares me.

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He was tuckered right out after all that stair-hopping, so I brought him back home for an afternoon nap. Then I directed Rusty towards a big rocket that I’ve been wondering about for a while now. It’s kind of odd, I’ve passed enormous rocket ships imposing over the landscape on more than one occasion here in Japan. I’ll just be riding out in the countryside or driving through the forested mountains when *voila* out of nowhere appears a rocket, crowning the highest hill or towering over the nearby trees and farmhouses. I’m not sure what the fascination is for them, maybe they just had some extra rockets lying around that they needed to find a good home for, but it definitely appeals to the lego side of my brain.

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And yes, you can buy beer, smokes, and condoms from vending machines out here, which gives the average 10-year-old access to all the naughty pleasures of adulthood. Of course, the average 10-year-old goes to school 10-12 hours a day 6 days a week, so they don’t have a lot of spare time to waste on smoking, sex, or liquer. But if they want it, it’s there at their fingertips, no ID required.

Next up is a trip to the Miyazaki Prefectural Museum. There was a little model of white-robed guys at a burial cave, like the ones I saw in Hasugaike park. Looks like they’re just about to seal it up with rocks; notice the rambunctious dog in the corner, he seems a tad happier than the rest of the somber figures. They also had an excavated skeleton from the burial caves, and an array of bastard-masks. I’ve named them bastard-masks because there’s a Japanese ceremony where adults dance around and scare the crap out of young kids with them, even bringing them to tears. It’s supposed to bring good luck to the children. Bastards. Hana still gets edgy when she sees them; luckily she wasn’t along on this particular excursion.

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After the museum, I opted for the rural route home, and I stopped for a photo op with the messiest-haired goat I’ve ever seen. Correct me if I’m wrong, but does this guy not remind you of Steve and his lovely locks:

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Quite the stylin’ goat, I just had to preserve the memory. I also passed many a farmers field on the way back, and a few more lonely vending machines in the middle of nowhere. I guess they want to give Mr. Goat some options, in case he gets bored with the regular diet of weeds, boots, and dirt.

The days adventures were followed with an excellent night of eating and drinking in downtown Miyazaki. I am happy to report that I finally tried pufferfish, a very expensive sushi delicacy (certain parts of the fish are poisonous at certain times of the season, so if the chef doesn’t know his stuff, the pufferfish can get the last laugh). After supper with Toshi, Mayumi, and Gramma (Hana was hard at work once again), Toshi and Gramma went back home to relax whilst Mayumi and I headed out to a couple of Mayumi’s favourite watering holes. At this point, I’d like to mention that all Japanese pubs have karaoke…it’s just part of the drinking experience. So when a large group of Japanese business men walked into our first establishment of choice, the calm and quiet atmosphere was quickly transformed to one of a slightly more raucous nature. I was only too happy to join in with my own renditions of ‘Plush’ by STP and other *foreign* english songs, to the appreciative clapping and yelling of the business men.

After the dull roar reached piercing levels, we decided to try our luck at a second spot, where we ended up with only 4 other business men to join in the fun. This proved to be a much more pleasantly-volumed audience, and the remainder of the evening was spent singing and drinking brandy with these four fine fellows. They were very pleased to be partying with a Canadian, and I did my best to fulfill my role as an ambassador, which included such duties as singing the Canadian national anthem, speaking in loud simple english all night, and teaching them the high-five and the 3-motion handshake (now don’t get jealous dad, I’ll teach you when I get home). Unfortunately, I was having far too much fun to remember my camera, so you’ll have to settle for some pics taken a week ago in a karaoke room with Hana and Mayumi. Not quite as raucous, but lots of fun nonetheless.

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The following day was a bit of a lazy day, which is just as expected after the consumption of immoderate levels of brandy and beer. When I finally did get my lazy-ass out of bed, I decided to go adventuring in the densely populated areas around the train station. I had a few black spots on the map that I wanted to illuminate, so I climbed back on Rusty and headed due south. You can imagine my surprise when I ran into a pack of little blue monsters, all snarling and poised for the attack. The fact that they already had a fair supply of food amongst them was no dissuasion whatsoever, and I felt 40 eyes watching my every move, waiting for any sign of weakness. With weapon drawn (mon appareil), I slowly edged past them, making my body as large and menacing as possible. This was an  incredibly difficult task, since every cell in my body was screaming to run away from the evil eyes and their malicious masters. Confrontation seemed unavoidable, and yet, somehow, I managed to escape unscathed by the beasts. I live to die another day, having escaped the clutches of the little blue monsters, but I won’t forget. I can still picture them vividly with their terrifying coats of blue, their snarling fangs, and their piercing stares…an image that will haunt my dreams for years to come…

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~ by The Running Emu on March 3, 2007.

2 Responses to “Little Blue Monsters”

  1. Sounds like you’ve had a fun week. You must have been the star of the karaoke place. Any disco numbers? Ma

    No disco, I did do some Beatles though…

  2. Hi Mikey…
    Glad to see the “puffer fish chef” knew his stuff. If the next one doesn’t…can I have your truck ??…and Mom wants your condo for a summer place!! With all this liquor guzzlin’//karaokeing//pedalling your ass around townin’//feeding your face and sleeping till noon+++…when do you get any work done ?? The cute little blue monsters look a little apprehensive.Were you wearing your Canadian bastard mask when you approached them !!!I hope you paid for all their ice-creams as an appology!A thought about the rockets…maybe they use them to expel undesireable [off key singing] aliens who stay after their visa has expired !!! ttfn pops

    I sure hope I’m not the next to be sent off via rocket from Japan…would be quite a ride though.
    Work? What’s that? Is that that thing where you do stuff you don’t want to so you can do what you do want to later? Ya, sure, I remember that…sure I hope I never have to do that again…

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